People Lie

For the most part, I get the basics of grammar. I know the difference between commas, semi-colons and colons. I’ve sorted out “who” and “whom”. And from memory, I can chant “i before e except after c.” Every sentence needs a noun and a verb. I run from run on sentences and fragments can cause me to fragment if not dealt with immediately. Aside from the occasional slip up, my footing is sure.

Except for one thing. The LIE/LAY thing. I am toast. Honest to God, I must have been sick that day when the teacher taught this in grammar school. I have struggled for years with the proper use of these two words. The mere thought of having to write about a character going  to bed and have to decide between lie and lay was enough to induce hand wringing. I had no nifty catchphrase, rhyme or song to square it in my head. I have pored over grammar and writing books in search of the holy grail of lie/lay. Any explanation would make sense but then I would think about it too much and become more confused than when I had started.

However, two days ago by mere coincidence (which I do not believe in), the light bulb finally! clicked on and I am happy to report that someone is at home. I was watching an old episode of Cold Case (though I have no interest in writing crime fiction, I am addicted to crime shows) and the detectives went to interview a teacher who taught English as a second language. In the scene, behind the teacher on the blackboard is written:

Chickens lay
People lie

Allelujah! Finally, I get it! And something to remember. Let me tell you that after nearly thirty-five years of struggle, I just about fell off the couch.